Sunday

scattered


lately (even before the move) i've felt like my brain won't settle. ideas bounce around like balls in a pinball machine and nothing seems to settle and stay for more than a few seconds. multiple scrappy to do lists form and float and then evaporate before i have a moment to write them out leaving me constantly feeling that there was something i needed to do but can't quite seem to remember what. there's little focus and even less achieved.

maybe it's to do with the fact that my day is divided into two hour blocks by feed and sleep schedules and i have two little people clamouring for my attention with their small requests and frustrations. i'm sure it doesn't help. these things always seem to require my attention half way through some chore or other, which must be promptly abandoned and then remembered in order to be restarted. it seems they are rarely remembered until someone (usually my love) stumbles across the half finished something several days later.

perhaps it's just my nature. i rarely seem to finish things i start. i have at least seven un-finished knitting and sewing projects laying about. my love is often frustrated by my desire to problem solve the most random things at the most inappropriate times. my focus is laser like in intensity on this one thing, excluding all else. usually these things happen at critical times of the day, like lunchtime or half way through the bed time routine.

occasionally i wonder if this is what they refer to when they talk about our ever decreasing attention spans, the symptom of living in a digital world... it does seem reminiscent of the meandering paths i often follow on the internet, my focus constantly being grabbed by something new, clicking through to something else before i'm really done on the original page. those little red counters on the ipad are the bane of my existence. i quickly jump on to check the weather so i can hang out the washing safe in the knowledge it won't rain, but the little red facebook counter swipes into view and i'm sucked down the rabbit hole ... only to emerge several hours later and realise that i still don't know if it will rain or not.

i'm fairly certain it's a combination of all of the above. i'm trying to figure out systems to help me stay focused and on track, but it's slow... and my thoughs keep geting scattered.
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